I have been staying away from any kind of SNS last 2 years. I use instagram but it’s more like my album that I can also share with people I know in real. It actually help when I lost dropped my phone in a pond in Poland. Especially Facebook though, I used to be on it all the time even since it became so popular(I think it was like 2007 I started). I certainly have changed “a lot” since then.
To explain why “I don’t need to” use SNS in general is that I’m more fulfilled in my real life. Those who are not satisfied with their life – or bored and lonely – need to put efforts to show off how their life is looking good on pictures. I’m not writing to criticise those people because I was the one of them but now it’s clear to see the situation I used to be in.
Moreover, I’m not writing to divide the type of people into two types who uses SNS and who doesn’t. Since there are so many ironic pictures on Facebook for example that shows how SNS is toxic for people. Things are not that easy to assume it’s good or bad. There are benefits and disbenefits.
I said “I’m more fulfilled” but actually it’s more like I became more busy for what I want to do. My real friends will eventually know how I’m doing without checking my posts. We send messages to each other from time to time. Maybe sometime we meet up to catch up.
I have one friend I’m afraid to call him my “best friend”. He lives far away from where I live. Sadly, he has never really contacted me. But we have crazy fun time when we’re together. Once we are separated, we focus on our own stuff. He might be more matured person in this sense because I still feel like spending time with him as long as we can.
This friendship is, so far, the best one I have ever had before, I believe. Comparing to this, you wouldn’t even feel like trying to put effort to care about the friend list on my Facebook(doesn’t mean that I don’t care about those friends). Even the fact that you actually met that person in real before, doesn’t mean that he/she exists right in front of you right now. So I only keep them as a “contact list” for whenever I feel like speaking to them or otherwise.
I also feel like people in the whole world are slightly feeling tired of this kind of belief that “more strong connections are better”. We all have only one body and it actually seems easy to realize how it’s impossible to handle so many relationships with people but many people don’t. Here I’m not talking about how many amount of
the thing is that you don’t even need to define that person as your friend. Friends are like a natural phenomenon. You will notice if he’s your friend way later. Maybe one day somebody would asks you and him “So you guys are friends right?” and then you would answer “well yes, I guess we are!”.
I’m not sure if you can apply the same logic to a relationship between man and woman. But for example in France as far as I know through my experience to live there about 10 months, where it starts is really fuzzy. It’s like the contrary of Japan. People confess and if they both agree, they are “officially” a couple. I don’t know which is better, there is no better or worse in this but that’s why I don’t know if you can use the same logic to this. It cannot be fuzzy when it comes to a marriage for sure.
Marriage is, needless to say, different from friendship or relationship. The biggest different part is that it’s a contract that human created to support each other for long period. Friendship can be a natural phenomenon but the marriage cannot be. There is something intentional. You could also call it “ancient wisdom”. There are couples that this system works well and of course there are many that it doesn’t work at all. It depends on how each person is grown-up or their own situation around. Not only the system causes the result, everything(the system and the couple) is the cause of the result.
I didn’t expect to write this much but I have my reading stuff left so here I’ll stop. It’s all just me saying anyway.